yay! this is the first guest post on my blog!
i am so excited to introduce you to helen from i will bloom! she is a lovely, caring gal and i think she is perfect to kick off having guest posts on my blog! she has such a way with words, every post she writes makes me feel somethings and makes me think.
she has been through some crap in life…but she still perseveres! because she is so diligent in her life and is such a great motivator, i wanted her to write to us all (mostly me) about how to not let things hold us back, what we need to do to push through and get the things we want to do, done!
you should check out my guest post on helen’s blog too! i wrote my take on “how to fall in love with your world” let me know what you think of it!
well, without further ado, here are her words of wisdom…
I reflect on my life often. I see its twists and turns and I stop to wonder what’s driven me, what’s kept me going through the years. I’ve been faced with many uphill struggles, challenges and many, many downright unfair moments in my relatively short life (40 years on this fair Earth). Yet I’ve kept going. I’ve not given up.
I do, however, see many people who’ve given up: given up on their bodies, on their families, on their marriages, their work, their minds…worst of all, their dreams, which ultimately means they’ve given up on themselves. This upsets me. Every single time I see it. What was so bad in someone’s life that they made the decision to give up?
When I’m down-trodden and think “Oh, stuff it, I’d really rather just go to bed/eat a bucket of ice-cream/lay on the settee all weekend watching crap TV”, I try not to fall in to that mindset and, instead, I jolt myself out of it [because I know if I gave myself the chance to go down that rabbit hole, it’d be a very slippery rabbit hole indeed and would be very difficult to get out of once already sliding down it].
What do I do to jolt myself out of it? [a.k.a. How can you stop the rot that sets in, the one that leads you to slowly but surely go down the path that leads to giving up?]
1. Honour yourself. Be kind to yourself. You’re amazing, a true miracle. If we just stopped to think about the miracles we are, the awe that embodies would light our paths and our thoughts. We, humans, we’re a miracle. Every single one of us. A beautiful, wonderful, world within the world. Complex, intelligent, creative, we have everything we need to be amazing.
Once we realise we’re a miracle, our path to amazing becomes easier to visualise, because then we act to honour the miracle we are
2. Honour your life as it is. Take a sheet of paper. Fill both sides with things you love about your life. Both sides of the sheet. In small writing, not big letters to use up space quickly! Fill both sides. The longer it takes you, the better. Stop once you’ve filled both sides. Read over your list, out loud. You’ll realise you have so, so many things to be thankful for in your life, you won’t complain again.
Once we give thanks in our lives, our lives will give us more things to be thankful for
3. Get to know yourself better. Sometimes, when we’re stuck in a rut, paralysed or simply ‘Mmeh, OK’, it’s because we’re unsure of what’s wrong or what’s bothering us. Grab a piece of paper. Start writing. Anything that comes to mind. Anything and everything. Don’t worry about how you write or what it sounds like. Just write. Write until you start to feel something juicy come out and then carry on. [Something juicy = something that you’ve been afraid to admit to yourself/something that scares you/something you’d been wanting to say]. Once you’ve done this, read over what you’ve written. There, on the page, there’ll be a declaration of what’s actually bothering you. And you know the cool thing about Declarations? The dictionary says it, under ‘Declaration’: “the formal announcement of the beginning of a state or condition”. What you have in your hand, on the paper, is the beginning of change. Change for the better. What you’ve done is to declare what’s wrong so you can make changes to put those things right and then move on to where you want to be.
You need to declare what’s wrong to be able to see the path towards change
4. Recognise that you could do any number of things instead of taking the path of least resistance. One insane moment of courage, one moment of action, is often all it takes to reset yourself and steer yourself away from taking the decision that’s not moving you forwards to what you actually want. About to eat the ice cream yet you say you want to be thinner? Jump up and down fifty times. Put your shoes on and go for a ten minute walk outside. Do some handstands. Put salsa music on crazy loud and pretend you’re Sofia Vergara in a room full of men. Want to get a new job but have been oohing and aaahing about sending off your CV? Have a friend you respect, and who’s ‘where you’d like to be’ professionally, look over your CV and cover letter, incorporate any suggestions and then – without thinking about it too much – send it off…
Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of ‘out of the box’ thinking plus a little bit of courage and you’ll manage to overcome your blocks
5. Baby steps. You want to achieve something big? Scary scary big? OK. Cool! Grab another piece of paper. Write the scary scary big thing down, in small letters, at the bottom of the paper. Write where you are at the top of the paper. Divide the paper in to six vertically. You’ve now got six steps to get from A (where you are) to B (where you want to be). Work them out. What six steps can you take to get from where you are to where you want to be? Doesn’t matter if the steps seem too big to handle at this stage – you can divide each step in to smaller – baby – steps later if necessary. The important thing is to divide the distance from A to B in to six. Six visible steps. Done? Cool. Are the steps something you can manage easily? If so, go! Do! Move through them until you get from your A to your B. If not, take another piece of paper, divide each step that you think isn’t easily manageable down in to smaller steps that you can manage. Then go! Do! [And repeat as necessary]
Baby, baby steps are still steps in the right direction. It’s by taking baby steps that babies learn to walk!
6. Have a ‘yes’ day. Write a list of “things you’d love to do if only you had the time/money/”whatever”. Set aside one day. In that day, try to do as many things as possible from your list. However you can. Be as creative as possible to get them done somehow. Want to go to Paris? Look for Paris images on Google. Watch Paris videos. Listen to youtube videos in French. Put on some Edith Piaf or Aznavour. Visualise being there. Drown yourself in Paris imagery, French language, cook some French food and drink in the aromas….visualise it, live it…Be as creative as possible to make your ‘what if’ things happen (however you can make them happen that day). You’ll feel so exhilarated that you were silly enough to engage in this activity, you’ll have fun, you’ll learn to trust your creativity…you’ll feel more confident. You’ll feel more you because you’re expressing your desires. [And – bonus – the research on brain plasticity says that if you can imagine it, your brain will believe you’re actually doing it and you’ll be more likely to attract it to you for real].
You can’t get anywhere you want to go until you can fully imagine being there.
YES! what a great post! i couldn’t agree more with what helen has just said! i just want to say thank you so much to helen for swapping blogs for today! i am so glad that i have a wonderful friend like her to help me through those tough times! you all need to read some of the posts on her blog and feel how motivated they make you feel!
don’t forget to read my post on helen’s blog!!
which tip is the one that made you go “hmmm” i need to do that more? let me know in a comment!